Themes and Sources: six months of procrastination in bullet points

I wanted to spend a bit of time explaining Themes and Sources, the first proper bit of my degree that I've had to do. Then I realised that most of the stuff I write on this blog involves bullet points, and I feel somewhat continuous-prose-ed out.

So, in slightly sporadic, nonsensical bullet points, this is the story of the last six months:

• Essay title, got some ideas, got some books out the library. Got over six months to go. Boom. Sorted.
• Still got the books. Maybe I should read them?
• Nahhhh
• Having a great time rowing, running around pretending to be a soldier, flying in helicopters, canoeing across Denmark. Standard stuff. A couple of months pass in this way.
• Still got some books. Took them all the way back to uni with me. Definitely a good sign.
• Why do today what I could put off indefinitely? January is ages away. 
• Rowing. Sleeping.
• Oh look, term started.
• The following eight weeks involve continuous napping, eating, rowing, supervision work, and resolutely ignoring Themes and Sources.
• Maybe I should start reading now?
• Yes. Maybe I should...
• Okay. One book down. I've got this sorted. 
• Oh, Christmas. Can't work at Christmas. Or my birthday, for that matter. Or any of the days in between. By now the procrastination has become aggressive.
• On the train to Gatwick. It's 2014. Finally starting to write. 
• Chilling in Spain. Getting some words on the page. Feeling relieved. I mean, if I can at least get a third, I'll still be able to pass, right? I just need to hand something in.
• I'm never doing a dissertation. Ever. 
• Reading the examiners' reports. Oh my God, no one got a third last year. Imagine if I'm that person. What if I'm the only one with a third? The shame! The humiliation! Quick! Work!
• I've left it too late. It's all too late. Time for pity chocolate.
• Oh no, lightweighting. Not the pity chocolate! Pity rice cakes instead.
• Or just finish off the essay, you know?
• Regret. So much regret. 
• Citations. Cite stuff. Actually read sources. Realise that I reached a flawed conclusion. Edit.
• Edit more.
• What's the point?
• Maybe I can ask for an extension?
• Oh god. It's awful.
• How many footnotes are enough?
• I understand nothing. What am I writing? What am I reading? What have I created?
• This is truly horrendous. This is the worst essay I've ever written.
• Finally. Just finish up.
• Read through, take a deep breath, make sure the word count's alright. Transfer to CD. Go to computer room. Press print.
• What do you mean I've run out of printing credits?
• Okay. Not a problem. Just buy more. 
• It's too late to change anything now. Read the mark scheme again while waiting for the printer; 2:2 "Any overall argument will at best be stated at the beginning and end, or possibly left for the reader to divine. Large issues may go unexplored. The capacity for brief summary or self-criticism is likely to be slight. The style may be unclear, repetitious and ungainly. Factual errors, non sequiturs, self-contradictions and obvious gaps in knowledge are likely. Presentation may be careful and even pedantic, but in other cases the typing may be poor, the footnotes sporadic and unstandardised and the bibliography ill-organised and incomplete" Hopefully I've managed that. There's still summer exams, right? I mean, it can still average out okay...
•  Fill in cover sheets, staple things together, put in a clear plastic folder... and breathe. 
• Try really hard to forget about it and stop caring.
• Hand the stupid thing in.
• Write a silly blog post. 
• Move on.

If any first year historians are reading this, save yourselves and try to do something over the summer. I'm also hopeful that I'll actually learn something from this to take into my dissertation... who knows?